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The Brobdingnagian-sized Ebook update!

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Yep, I'm going all literary with this update on my ebook sales. We all know from Gulliver's Travels that Brobdingnagian means giant-sized.* And this is a giant-sized report! Well, actually it's kind of small. It's more Lilliputian. But, really, who would click on a headline that says, "Author shouts out about lilliputian book sales!"? Anyway let's start with a chart!

Eeek! My sales have gone all Lilliputian! I was warned about the doldrums of August by other ebook publishers. Apparently sales do drop in August. Get off the beach and buy books everyone! Anyway, here are the numbers.

Feb 12 March 43 April 377 May 204 June 139 July 154 August 72

Abandon ship! That's it mateys, all hands off deck and swim for shore. Oh, wait there were some grand developments. I crossed the 1000 sales barrier. That's good.  And my little experiment last month of giving away this Norse horror book for free worked:

I gave away 7545 copies. But when I switched the book back to "paid" status Amazon's magical algorithms made it shoot up the charts and it sold 33 copies in two weeks (the highest it had averaged was 18 copies in a month). So there was some small immediate benefit to giving it away (plus it now has several new positive reviews). And I hope over time those 7500 readers will look kindly on the other books in the series.

Hey and there's other good news. I released The Hunchback Assignments  and The Dark Deeps in the UK.

The Dark Deeps

That's one of the clever things about ebook publishing. My agent sold the rights to these books to several countries, but the UK hasn't picked it up yet. So, with the click of a button, I can invade the UK. My hope is to make a little noise over there. So far...3 copies sold! C'mon Britain, remember when we Canucks helped out with that Boer war thing? You can finally pay us back!

I am doing a few experiments at the UK amazon with free books...which I'll update at a later date (see, I'm trying to make this all sooo mysterious).

Overall, I had hoped to be further ahead in the ebook world after 7 months. I think the real test of this experiment will come over the next few months which are traditionally the busiest in book sales. And, as I've said before, every copy sold is a copy I wasn't selling before. All of these books were either out of print or not for sale in selected countries, so I'm making money on them now.

And someday that Brobdingnagian load of royalties will come my way, right Gulliver! Right?

Cheers,

*next time you go to Starbucks refuse the Grande Latte and demand a Brobdingnagian latte. That'll shock their organic socks!

Funny Answers to Odd Writerly Questions

20110825-104631.jpgThese are inspired by a few questions I've been asked...

Q: Arthor, I read your book DUST. Tell me the symbolism in it. I have a paper due tomorrow so I need to know now. A: I will tell you the symbolism. But first I'd like you to cut my lawn. It needs to be cut now. I'm waiting.

Q: I have an idea for a book that you should write. It's my life story. Some really interesting things happened, so far. I can't tell them to you because you might steal the ideas. I'm too busy to write it. A: I'm not busy at all! Would love to sacrifice a year of my life writing your book. Is 2071 too soon?

Q: Why does your book suck so much? A: This may seem hard to believe but writing a book that sucks takes years of work. First I take anything that is remotely interesting or exciting out of the book. Then I add all the boring characters and have them sit around doing nothing. Finally, I inject suckiness into the prose using a special method taught to me by a suckiness master. It's like becoming a kung fu master, without the exercise. Glad to know my hard work has paid off.

Q: Really, I'm not joking, what is the symbolism in your book? I need to know. I got an extension. A: My lawn still needs cutting.

Q: I have some really great ideas. How do I stop people from stealing them? A: I don't want you to feel paranoid, but I'm reading your mind right now. Those are amazing ideas. If you want to prevent others from stealing your ideas wear a tinfoil hat.

Anyone else have questions? Post them below...

Art

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Faith: The Cornerstone of Writing

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You must have faith.

That's the conclusion I've come to after all these years of writing. The cornerstone of becoming a writer and continuing on in this odd field is faith. By that I don't mean religious faith, but a personal faith. You must believe in your story. Believe that, with enough work, the words will take the proper shape and become a perfect (or as perfect as possible) story. Believe that each word, each sentence, each paragraph is getting you closer to your goals.  Believe that what you will create will be worth it in the end (that worth can be defined as making money or your actual happiness with your story).
This "literate" faith is what carried me through having my first six novels rejected by publishers. I certainly had my doubting moments (or even months) but after ten years of trying my first book was published. It was important to believe in what I was doing. I still need faith now--the act of beginning a novel is an act of absolute faith (perhaps even more so since I don't use outlines). The road does get rocky at times, either I can't solve a problem or a character goes off in a direction I don't expect, but I believe the answer will come. And so far it always has.
So have faith. The rest will fall into place after that.

1000 eBooks and 0 Big Macs sold!

Light a cigar! Open a fizzy drink! Eat some chocolate! Have an organic carrot! My first ebook went on sale February 4th, 2011: Since then I've added 5 more: and we've finally sold 1000 copies (I say we because I know some of you have bought copies and I thank you sincerely--your imaginary royalty cheque is in the mail).

The sales are divided out this way: 66 B&N 20 iBooks 17 Smashwords 8 Kobo 889 Kindle Which of course...and you knew this was coming...makes a lovely chart: Ah, Kindle, how I love thee. Are the rumours true that you dominate the market?

And here are my sales divided by books (the price in brackets is the price most copies were sold at): Dust = 752 (.99) Draugr = 75 (.99) Drang = 42 (2.99) Loki = 39 (2.99) Shades = 36 (.99) Tribes = 56 (.99)

I've only made about $400.00 but I'm not too concerned about the $ at this point. It was more learning to understand how the ebook system works (err, as much as it can be understood, that is).

Art

From 100% on a Short Story to Parade Captain

This last weekend I had a highlight in my writing career: I was a parade captain in the Gull Lake Centennial parade. Gull Lake, SK, Canada is here: It's the town where I graduated from high school in 1985 (I attended Tompkins school from K-9) and learned that heavy metal is the greatest music that ever existed (my older brothers had already started those lessons). The organizers  were kind enough to invite me to participate in the parade. At first I thought my high school friends were just playing a trick on my super-sized ego, but it turned out to be really real! This is how cool I looked in 1985 when I graduated:

 I couldn't decide what to wear. I mean do you go all casual for a parade or do you wear your old high school football jacket?

Anyway, I did make it to the parade lineup in time. There were many old friends there and many old cars and many old friends in old cars. There were also mounties:

There were soldiers there, too, of course. After all you need all the security you can get when clowns and writers infiltrate your town.

This is a buddy of mine, Gord Kozroski, who was in the army for ten years. And still fits into his uniform. He is a real captain (retired). See--people who listen to Iron Maiden can do something with their lives!

And here I am in the parade:

Oh, wait. That's a clown. How can you tell the difference between a writer and a clown? The clown has the nicer vehicle. Here I am with the two other parade captains:

Man, was waving ever tiring! And looking at the disappointed faces of all the children--they thought we might have candy in our car. We didn't. But we did have lots of incredibly funny jokes. My two fellow captains had so many jokes that I nearly broke my face laughing (it is possible).

Oh, here's another clown:

Or that might be a writer. I can't tell because the vehicle is an old one. And, of course, here are more shots of the parade:

It was a 45 minute parade. Absolutely amazing. I did see my Algebra teacher on the parade route and shouted out to him, "Thanks for passing me!" I must say Algebra was very touch and go there on that last exam. But luckily I guessed right on the multiple choice questions. Otherwise I'd still be in high school.

Later I did the traditional selling and signing books thing:

I also got to thank my English teacher, Mr. Leek, for passing me way back when. And I meant to thank him for teaching The Cruel Sea, which influenced my novel Megiddo's Shadow.

Mr. Leek gave me 100% on a short story in Grade Eleven and it was one of those encouraging moments in life where I paused and thought, "Hey, I should do this as a living." What was the story about? Oh, a happy little tale about someone who died and went to hell. Hmmm. Guess I was a little twisted back then. I also have fond memories of Miss Wenner teaching Fahrenheit 451 in grade ten. A science fiction novel in school! That nearly blew my 15 year old mind. She also gave me 89% on a poem once. What was it about? Oh, it was about the Antichrist coming to earth alongside the four horsemen. Happy stuff, eh?

The rest of the day unfolded perfectly and ended with a beef on a bun dinner. Mmmmm. I would show you a picture of that, but I ate it too fast. So I'll end with another picture of a clown:

Happy parading through life everyone,

Art